Worse than rain

I live in Britain, England to be more precise, any more information than that may be too specific and lead to the untimely Revelation of my true self, but this is getting off point. I live in England, one of my favorite things about England is the cold and the rain, I have a cousin from America who once joked that the only weather one could be sure of in England was 364 days of rain and one only slightly overcast. So why, please someone tell me why, it is snowing now? Why are many roads so frozen that it is impossible to break, and therefore lead to unfortunate incidents like crashing into another car? OK so crashing is a slight exaggeration, it was more like a slide, and thank g-d no one was hurt, and hopefully the other car was undamaged, it appeared to have emerged from the scrape far better off than my own car in fact. (something I am completely ok with) But the fact is that the whole evening was rather spoilt by this additional stress and I am still thinking about it, what if the other car is more damaged than I originally thought?

Yes this is a rant, I am trying to let off steam and try to exorcise these latest daemons I have picked up. (Its not working by the way, I still feel bad, and guilty, although the family whose car I hit were very kind and understanding). Why though cannot, with the huge range of ways to receive relatively accurate predictions about the weather, local councils be ready and grit the roads, is it really so hard?

Obviously it is!

on top of this incident in the evening, in the afternoon I was given a piece of advice I have heard from many people, this time it was from a qualified mental health professional, and it was to quit my job, (the one to which I referred to in my earlier post about work). The problem is, despite knowing I should do this, I cannot bring myself to do it because of an overriding fear of disappointing my father. Yes it turns out I would rather be miserable than do that. So not a fantastic day for me.

On the up side I did see Avatar, and it was rather good, very nice visuals, good story and awesome flying lizards, and of course humans get beaten, so enjoyable all round. The film actually gets going rather quickly as well, although it does later slow down, and is rather long, especially if watched as a late night showing.

any way its almost 5 am now so I really should try to get some sleep, maybe dreams will come and wash away these feeling of guilt and misery that have covered my soul since the "incident" this evening. (or more properly yesterday evening)